What is bondage? Well, for starters, it’s what the letter “B” stands for in the acronym BDSM. Let’s leave the rest of the letters alone for now, since today’s main topic is only the tying up part, which doesn’t necessarily include other, more extreme, practices. Usually it’s a great addition to role-play or a way to rekindle that magical spark that started burning out after many years together. The prospect of being immobilised, typically also blindfolded at the same time, seems very alluring, especially if it’s done with your loved one. This guide will concentrate on how to practise bondage safely for the first-timers. Remember, this sort of experience isn’t for everyone, and it can have dangerous consequences if you fail to do research beforehand.
Talk before tying
As we always stress, communication is the key. With bondage, the importance of talking the subject through with your partner is even more important. If any of you isn’t completely on board with the idea, you should reconsider it. This isn’t something you shouldn’t try with a stranger you just matched on a dating app with, or met at a pub, this kind of experience should only be done with a person you can trust or, in case you’re single, with a professional. BDSM services can be found in many escort agencies or sex dungeons, it’s better to pay a little than find yourself in a dangerous situation with a stranger. You can also check if any local dominas are doing classes for beginners and go with your partner.
How far are you willing to go?
One of you, or both, can be a little scared of proceeding with a full bondage session, even though you both want to try it. It’s normal! Giving up control, even with a loved one, can be hard. Start with something simple, like blindfolds. Being touched, kissed or teased while blindfolded is a very different experience, and the constant uncertainty of what your partner is about to do adds an adrenaline rush. After you get more comfortable with it, and there’s a good chance you will fall in love in said uncertainty, you can try using handcuffs. Most sex handcuffs can be easily broken in case you get too scared, so you wouldn’t be completely immobilised. Then, you can proceed to more extreme measures. Although, keep your hand off gags for a while, it’s better to have means to communicate, at least in the beginning.
Safe words and do you need them
Safe words are very useful whenever you’re trying something new. Bondage typically works well with various forms of role play, like kidnapping, which makes some sort of code word even more needed. It should be something you won’t normally say during a sexy time, fairly simple, assuming you can talk. In case you went all the way, and you can’t voice your discomfort, discuss a gesture you’d show your partner in a moment of distress. For example, you can still make bunny ears hand gestures in most positions, and you probably wouldn’t do it without a reason. Safe words can also be very useful outside of bed, like a secret code just between you two!
Bondage positions for beginners
All right, so you’ve already tried simple things, mentioned in the second paragraph, and you still crave more. The easiest and most common position is the so-called spread eagle, which means that one person lies down, with their legs and arms spread as far as they can. It can be easily done using handcuffs or ropes (be careful with those as you can cut off blood circulation), and works great with a blindfold. The only problem is the bed, since if you don’t have spreader bars (and you most likely don’t as a beginner), you’d have to use the poles at the end and front of the bed. The other common positions include chair-bondage and hogtie. The first one is limited only by your imagination, and you can use any bonding materials you want, even old ties. The second one is also very simple, as all you have to do is tie your partner’s ankles and wrists together, of course most couples bond thighs and chest as well, you can go as far as you feel like.
Thank you for reading our latest post on the Party Girls London Blog! If you enjoyed this BDSM guide, we encourage you to check out this post – A beginner’s Guide to Indulging in Anal Sex
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