In our sex guide series, we already talked about BDSM, even in depth about subjects like bondage and restraints, tickling sessions, Cock and ball torture and asphyxiation or breath play. Today, we take on yet another popular kink: spanking. Erotic spanking is a part of a bedroom activity called impact play. It includes things like whipping, kicking, and even punching, but let’s learn how to crawl before taking up running. Spanking can be fun for both parties, it even increases blood flow in the groin area and releases endorphins and dopamine in your brain. It makes it not only pleasurable but also great as a foreplay. What previously was classified as a punishment for naughty children, for some adults is considered a reward. It’s astonishing how pain and pleasure can coexist in such a satisfying way!
How to Begin?
Unless you want to end up single, or worse, you should begin with consultation with your partner. A proposition like “Can I hit you, honey?” may not be your best bet, but instead, you should slowly ease them into it. In case you’re both already into kinky sex, there’s no problem, but if your sex life is tame, then you have to tread carefully. Dive into our guide to kinky sex positions for exciting ideas. Tell them about your fantasies and desires, and discuss their expectations and boundaries about the matter. Read some guides and real stories to ease them into the idea. You can even watch some videos together if that’s your cup of tea. Do not expect your partner to blindly go along with you, without a knowledge of what a spanking session is about, also do no try to spank someone without learning how to first.
Agreeing on a safe word and gesture is crucial in every BDSM relation, as we always stress in our sex guides. Apart from the signals, explore a little during your first time. Try spanking harder or lighter and wait for your partner’s feedback. Honest dialogue is one of the secrets of a fulfilling sex life, don’t forget it. During the first few tries of erotic spanking, don’t use any bonds or toys, just check your partner’s boundaries. After you know what, where and how hard, you can try to experiment a little.
The Magic of Erotic Spanking
As mentioned above, spanking releases chemicals into your brain that are responsible for pleasure, but that’s not all! Once you both get into this BDSM fun, you can try spanking your partner in daily situations to create that passionate spark. It might get you both in the mood for spontaneous hot sex or just make your partner feel desired, regardless of their clothes and setting. Both outcomes sound good, and both will deepen your connection!
If you’re new to impact play, it’s safest to stick to the buttocks and upper thighs, at least for now. Both these places are mostly fat, regardless of your partner’s physique. Be careful not to hit them on their lower back, since that’s where the kidneys are located. A lot of spanking sessions end with bruises, but if you see any above their arse, contact your doctor. An embarrassing medical consultation is nothing compared to possible health issues.
Now, that you know where to hit, let’s talk about the landing. The buttocks are split into four zones, and each has a different sensitivity. The top is usually the most painful, but it can be perfect for some. Then, the sides, right near the hips, which are great for slapping during sex. The underside makes a whole arse juggle, which many enjoy watching, but bruising it may result in your partner’s problems with sitting for a couple of days. The last zone is the centre, the easier for beginners to start with. Start with touching each part alone, and checking your partner’s reactions. You can even give them a little massage. There are no rules here, every person will have different preferences regarding the sensitivity of each zone, so don’t be afraid of straight-up asking. After establishing where they like to be touched most, gently slap and pinch them. Getting to know someone’s body is a guessing game, but one worth playing.
Do I need any tools?
This question is controversial. Technically, spanking includes only slapping with bare hands, but some people include using special toys, like paddles, in this category. Since this sex guide is for beginners, try with just hands and if you both like it and want more, pay a visit to a sex store. Also, talk with your partner about other aspects of BDSM that are frequently combined with erotic spanking, like foot trampling or verbal humiliation. Maybe spanking is just the beginning of your kinky journey. If your eager to explore more check out our guide to taking your intimate experiences beyond kinky for more exciting insights.
To wrap this sex guide up, spanking is good, slapping blindly isn’t. Start with conversations, safe words and setting up boundaries, before you attempt to include erotic spanking into your sex life. In case your partner is too delicate for that kind of fun, remember you can always role-play and pretend the hits are harder than they are, or just exchange your roles. Experimenting is a part of great and enjoyable sex, don’t be afraid of trying new kinks!
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