Heat Up the Bedroom with Wax Play

Do you know what wax play is? Apparently, most people don’t, so in this sex guide, we’ll shine some light on the subject. Wax play is a kink that falls on the BDSM spectrum, as it involves mixing pleasure with pain. Practices wary from dripping, through pouring, to dipping one’s parts in melted hot wax. It’s one of the few fetishes that fall under a category called “temperature play”, and also one of the best to get into. In our previous sex guides, we discussed sensory deprivation and stimulation, temperature play is also in these categories. There are plenty of reasons why one may find it alluring, the most common being submission, however we’ll try to focus on non-BDSM related reasons.

Safety

Before we begin, it’s important to note that, like most kinks that involve pain, whether wax play is safe depends on specific precautions. Foremost, both of the sides have to consent, set up boundaries and a safe word. Secondly, while household candles are generally safe to use, we wouldn’t recommend it since some of them may cause allergies and not all have a safe melting point. For wax play, you shouldn’t use candles with a higher melting point than 51℃, we’ll discuss it in detail below. 

How to introduce temperature play

Telling your partner that you want to pour scalding hot wax on their private parts might, to put it gently, spook them. Start by explaining what wax play is, since plenty of people won’t have a clue. If they agree, begin gently, using the beginner-friendly techniques we explain below. Never start in sensitive regions, as everyone has a different pain threshold and if you’re both inexperienced, it may result in a hospital visit. Be gentle, slow, and understanding, and respect your partner’s boundaries. Some people choose to start with other, more tamed, forms of temperature play. If you’re looking into exploring hot sensations, you can start your journey with these methods:

• Heating metal tools in hot water — you can try to use warmed up tools for tactile stimulation, a good idea, and an actually healthy one, is to use a hot massager with metal balls.
• Electric heated massagers — even though they don’t get too hot, it’s a good introduction to familiarise the warm feeling in one’s private parts.
• Hot and cold water pours — once the skin is cooled with cold water, the warm water will feel scalding hot.
• Coconut oil pours — coconut oil melts at 24℃, nonetheless you can keep warming it a bit longer, whale checking the temperature with your finger. You can use it not only as an introduction to temperature play, but also to an erotic massage.

Different candles for different pleasures

As we explained above, it’s best to use a wax designed for this type of play because of temperature. Of course, it’s understandable you would rather not invest in a fetish that you’re not sure about, so we combined this list for you. Remember, the wax gets warmer the longer it burns for, so be fast about it. Moreover, pouring from a greater height will make the wax significantly cooler, than from a shorter distance. 

• Paraffin wax — one of the most common types for household candles, melts at around 46℃, however some will melt at greater temperatures, even as high as 62℃. 
• Soy wax — the best choice for wax pours, as it’s melting point is 45-53℃. Some people may have an allergy reaction, so check it on a small portion of skin first.
• Coconut blend wax — a rather rare type, despite that, it’s great for this use. It melts at around 51 to 53 ℃, and also is safer for the skin than, for example, paraffin.
• ParaSoy — a combination of both paraffin and soy wax, it’s melting point is 56 ℃, which makes it safe to use with caution.
• Depilation wax — different brands use different blends, but they’re all skin safe. The downside is taking it off.  

What you should never use:

• Beeswax — the high melting point and stickiness make it a one-way ticket to a hospital.
• Gel wax — even though it looks pretty and alluring, it’s extremely dangerous as it has one of the highest melting points of 82 ℃, which is enough for third-degree burns.
• Palm wax — it’s rare, but some people might want to use it in place of coconut wax. However, it needs around 82 ℃ to melt, making it unsafe.

If you want to use any other type of wax that you couldn’t find in our sex guide, do your research first. 

Techniques

Before you start indulging in any type of wax play, make sure to prepare the area and your body. Scraping candle wax off the bed sheets doesn’t make a good aftercare activity. If you intend to stay in bed, use a plastic tarp or old sheets, at least until you learn how to keep the space clean. After you’re done playing, remove the chunks of wax from your skin and take a long warm (not hot) shower, most wax comes off this way. You can also try using baby oil to help remove the wax bits. Moreover, make sure that the only flame burning bright would be your passion and the candles, not the whole room. Apart from that, you also have to prepare some products for aftercare. In case of accidents, grab some skin burn cream and aloe vera beforehand.

The most popular ways to enjoy wax play are:

• sensory stimulation activities
• humiliation/degradation kink
• BDSM scenarios
• various role plays

Techniques of wax play:

• Wax pouring — start with holding the candle approximately 20 centimeter’s above the skin to give the wax a chance to cool off, after that, you can start slowly decreasing that distance.
• Wax dripping — a similar method to wax pouring, just in smaller amounts.
• Wax painting — a more gentle form, where one person uses a paintbrush to apply hot wax on their partner’s skin, using it as a canvas. Apart from temperature sensations, it also provides more sensory stimulation.
• Wax dipping — used in submissive training and sensory play, all it comes down to is dipping your fingers, hands or other parts in melted wax for an extended period of time.

Wax play is an interesting kink to explore, as long as you’re wise about it. Like every BDSM-related practice, it requires some mental preparations as well as aftercare. It’s important that both parties feel respected and cared for, no matter the assumed roles. Apart from that, certain safety measures have to be kept in place, even in the moment of passion, you have to be careful about what you’re doing. All of the temperature play methods can potentially be harmful, as everything that connects pain and pleasure. Keep that in mind and stay safe!