Erotic asphyxiation or simply breathplay is a sexual fantasy of many people, but barely a dew dare to go the whole way. It’s one of a few fetishes of BDSM scene that can actually lead to life-threatening situations. For some, the sole thought of the possible risks can be arousing, but we’re here to talk about safe practice only. If endangerment is what gets you going, you can always play pretend. The most common unwanted actions are cardiac arrest, brain damage, trachea damage or simply loss of consciousness; breathplay actually causes a fair bit of sex-related accidental deaths. Therefore, take the subject of today’s sex guide seriously and stay safe.
Types of breathplay
As with every kink, there are quite a few ways you can practise it, depending on your preferences. First of all, all methods listed below can be utilized both on your own (auto-erotic asphyxiation) or with a partner. Secondly, remember that the intensity of the play should be controlled by the passive side, also it can be theatrically exaggerated. Keeping all that in mind, here are the different kinds of breathplay and the introduction to them.
– Choking/gagging – a common misunderstanding is that this whole fetish is called that. However, the definition of the choking is simply getting an object, typically food in a non-sexual setting, stuck in the throat or windpipe. In erotic situations, it’s usually done with a dildo or a real cock. If you insist on the latter one, be careful as the first reflex might be to try and bite the inferior thing.
– Strangling – mistakenly named choking, usually done wrong, and, by far, the most dangerous breathplay. The meaning of strangling is to physically, either by hand or a string of some sort, limit the blood flow to the brain by applying pressure. To put it more bluntly: grabbing someone by their neck and, well, pressing.
– Smothering – a method very similar to choking, it’s also related to stopping one’s air supply, but instead of putting something in someone’s throat, it means suffocating. Sometimes it’s a pillow, like in all those true crime podcasts, and sometimes simply a hand (this has its own name: stifling).
Breathplay is just a part
You may think that breathplay is only a part of a longer BDSM or fetish session, but that’s not always the case. Usually, couples just enjoy occasional prolonged deepthroat or a little strangling during sex, and that’s absolutely valid. Whether you just want to spice things up a bit or going all out with belts, you should take precautions and be extremely careful. Erotic asphyxiation can be for example mixed with foot fetish (using special masks), standard dom-sub relations, trampling and various roleplays. If your practice of asphyxiation is more casual, you probably haven’t even set a safe word or researched how to strangle someone without breaking their neck. Arousal can make people go bonkers, but remember to stop sometimes and reconsider your choices.
How to avoid the risks?
The most important thing, as we mention in all our sex guides is to communicate. The passive side should be able to communicate their needs and boundaries at all times, as well as have a safe word and safe gesture. You should also discuss how far are both sides willing to go beforehand and stick to the plan. Even if during the session you think you can handle more, you shouldn’t change it and calmly talk about it afterwards. During any sort of sexual activities, people tend to think and act more rapidly and irrationally, you may think that you can go further and injure yourself. Safe words and gestures are a must during dangerous practices such as erotic asphyxiation, but how to signal you want a break? You can use your hands to tap on something or your partner. In case your hands are tied you can always hold something that will make a loud noise while dropped or hide a little bell in your hand and ring it when necessary.
In the next week’s sex guide, we’ll concentrate on proper ways to strangle or choke someone. For now, you can gently nudge your partner in the right direction and start discussing adding breathplay to your bed repertoire. This sort of thing, you have to be both absolutely certain about.