In the previous sex guide we discussed what erotic asphyxiation means, today we’ll get into details. As stressed before, reckless attempts at breathplay are extremely dangerous and may lead to serious consequences, including death. Have a read and decide on your own whether you want to try this type of fun.
If you just started your breathless journey, you may not know what type of play you or your partner is into, but don’t worry. Sex means exploration, and that’s exactly what you should do. However, with kinks that may harm you, both of you should do research and discuss it beforehand. The neck is a very sensitive and delicate area, at first you may feel uncomfortable with as much as simply your partner resting their hand there. Simply placing a and over your throat is precisely what you should start with. The grasp should resemble actual choking, but without any pressure. This is called a fantasy choke.
Choking – do’s and don’ts
In last week’s sex guide, we explained the common misunderstanding between choking and strangling. Now, it’s time for instructions. You’d probably prefer to start learning on your own, unfortunately this is the type of fetish that’s best practised with a partner, due to safety precautions. The first thing you should do is check whether you have a gag reflex. In case you do, any further actions may result in you throwing up all over the place, and that’s probably not something you want. You can try to slowly practise applying pressure to the back of your throat, for example with your fingers, but it’s very hard to learn to stop gagging. Once you decide you’re ready to try choking, start with dildos and such, since your first reflex would be to bite. You may want to try holding your nose shut, but first you need to get familiar with the feeling of having your air flow cut off. Initially, you’ll feel a touch of panic, when you want to breathe and find yourself unable to, but you’ll get used to this. In case you start coughing, you should immediately stop. A common side effect is a panic attack, where you’re still choking, despite an unclogged throat – this is why it’s safer to have your partner with you.
Strangling in the safe way
No matter how aroused you are, safety should always come first. The most common mistake is to press on the windpipe, instead of on the carotid artery. Remember, that if the strangled person starts coughing, you have to immediately stop. If done properly, strangling wouldn’t make you cough or vomit. Check out medical diagrams of where the artery is, then start gently feeling with your fingers to locate it on either side of the throat. In the beginning, check how much pressure is satisfying for you or your partner. Most people prefer to get strangled right before orgasm, but it’s not a rule. In case you’re using any type of bondage or tools, pay more attention to the person getting strangled. The first signs something is wrong are bloody eyes and face turning darker red, almost purple, colour.
On and off
One of the best techniques for breathplay is going on and off. Get a clock, timer, wrist watch or anything that will measure time and place it in your line of sight. In case your partner is in a position that hides their face from you, get a mirror, so you can monitor their expressions at all times. Any changes in their complexion (except a little red on the cheeks) or eyes mean that you have to stop. Now, you can use your timing device to measure how long you are choking them. The method is called on and off, because you’ll be releasing and pressing again according to time. Start with 10 seconds of choke and then 10 seconds of rest, you can increase it even to a minute, but don’t go all the way on the first try. Keep in mind, you can actually harm your partner or cause them to pass out.
Choose your own poison
While many people enjoy breathplay, it might not be for you, even if you showed interest in it at first. Some people prefer light play with gentle pressure applied to their neck, some want to be strangled until they pass out. The most intriguing thing about choking is giving up all control and trusting your partner, but it’s alright if you’re not ready for that. You can always just role play, instead of going all the way. Remember, if you want to experiment with erotic asphyxiation read more guides, talk to experts on various forums, even go to your local BDSM dungeon for demonstration or watch videos. Despite the popularity of this kink, it’s still dangerous and a lot of breathplays end in hospitals. Stay safe and keep exploring your sexuality.